Tread on Me

I wouldn't trust me
Not with the history I have.
I've begged forgiveness for all my sins,
Yet here I stand,
Still unsure if I can get by without the tricks -
The very things that allowed me to survive
When the world pushed for me to die.

I'm so full of color,
Bursting at the seams,
But I know how quickly I can get knocked off my feet.
And I know that while the wind is cleansing,
It also threatens to knock me back.
And if you want to judge
Who I had to be
In order to survive,
There's a special place in hell for you.
I've cried myself clean,
Rinsed the dirt and dust from my soul
As I faced every demon that ouroboros threw my way.
And with every pocket of myself that I cleansed,
Color replacing the dark pit or stain,
I found myself born a new.
Yet, I'm so afraid,
So terrified that that blessed color will fade,
And if it does,
Can I do it again?
I wouldn't trust me...
Not yet.