Looking Back Someday

Effervescent 

That's what this moment feels like

With you.

Even amidst the impending winter

I can feel the summer sunshine warming my face 

As I smile up at you.

And this is a real smile,

The kind that I couldn't stop 

Even if my life depended on it.

And it's in the back of my head

How rare these smiles used to be,

But not anymore - 

Thanks to you. 

I must be glowing

Here dancing in your arms

And, Jesus, I must look like a lunatic

But I don't care,

All I care about is the way you make me feel:

Free.

I never realized that's what I'd been chasing,

As I ran from everything that had hurt me,

With a plastic smile on my face for their benefit

As I swallowed the poison they didn't care they were pouring.

But with you,

It's sunshine and warmth and birds chirping.

And as you pull me in to you

It's a burst of joy

As your lips touch mine.

I can hear the promise in the kiss,

The words that don't need to be spoken:

That you're here 

No matter what it takes

No matter where I roam

No matter how much I break myself to keep others happy -

You're always the 

 One

Person that's there pulling me back together 

Gently guiding me to love

And peace

And home.

And it's so damn beautiful 

That it's always you. 

That you're my walking embodiment of it all,

That you can love me when I'm spitting bullets

Or bleeding out on the bathroom floor,

But you do. 

And the fact that I can be both

Broken and yet so blissfully happy

And you don't run from either, 

I would give you anything in this moment. 

And yet, all you ask of me:

To be happy.

You ask me to stay here, 

In this moment,

With you

And let myself soar,

Because you know how precious it is.

Moments when I'm good and truly 

Out of my head

And instead in my heart -

And they tend to happen with you.

I smile beneath your lips,

My fingers running through your stubble

And I smile wider

As your own lips stretch to match mine.

I do a little dance in your arms

And you laugh

As you wrap your arms around my shoulders.

You and me,

That's my favorite.

My favorite story.

My favorite moment.

My favorite set of eyes.

I can leave it open ended, 

My favorite, 

Because it's always you,

Everything, 

With you,

And it's all I want for the rest of my life,

To be looking back some day

Seeing the beautiful world we managed to make

Even if it's just for the two of us.