Bank on the Funeral

There's nothing romantic about being strong,

About being a pillar of strength,

When all you want to do is collapse

And bury yourself under the weight of it all.

Some people see that strength, 

See that resilience, 

And they assume you aren't clawing at your insides,

Assume your life is sunshine and rainbows.

So you bank on tomorrow, 

That new purse,

That fancy vacation -

But it never quite fills the void.

And your smile becomes more brittle,

Your heart a little harder 

Each time you say 

"I'm fine"

And no one questions it.

You keep living for something that never 

  Quite

Arrives.

But still you pull on that armor for another day,

Stand a little taller,

Smile a little wider,

While your eyes and heart continue to die

Until you just can't do it anymore.

Better dead than in hell,

Right?