Indigo Sea
Bonsoir mes amis,
I know this page has become a haven for my poetry, but I needed to write this before I lost the feeling...the same impulse I have when writing poetry!
To start with, I listened to Oprah's SuperSoul Conversation's podcast today, specifically the episode with Jack Kornfield, an American Buddhist teacher. Now, I'm not entirely sure of where my spiritual leanings are truly "leaning" these days. Some days I feel as though I'm just spiritual, with no specific view or guiding principles; others I'm more Taoist, Buddhist, Pagan, or even Sikh. Lately, I've been trying to practice Metta, which is a Buddhist prayer of loving awareness. The typical prayer is something along the lines of: "May I be happy. May I be free. May I be safe. May I be loved." You can repeat this prayer for yourself or for others...and if I'm honest, I tend to wish this on those that cut me off on the freeway...maybe not necessarily how it was intended to be done, but it's what works for me. It pulls me out a place of anger, and reminds me to send them loving awareness, and that's more important, both for myself, and for them. But anywho, as I've been practicing this Metta, I decided to give this podcast of Oprah and Jack Kornfield's chat a try. They didn't disappoint.
I'm not going to go into detail about what was said in that podcast, but I would highly encourage you to give it a listen if you're curious about learning more about Buddhism and possibly finding a little more love, light, and grace within your life. That's certainly how I was feeling after listening to their inspirational words. So, here I am, fresh off of a walk with my pup, listening to Oprah's podcast, as I prepared to do the dishes. I put on Ajeet Kaur's album Indigo Sea and began filling up the sink with water and soap. Now, Ajeet Kaur is a Sikh artist, which if you know anything about Sikhism would have been evident by her name haha, but nonetheless! I already admitted to having wide reaching spiritual dabblings. This album in particular, the songs "The Waters" and "Indigo Sea" really in particular, feels freeing and safe to me. So, here I am, listening to this beautiful woman's voice, and I notice the pot my husband used to make a creamy pasta dish...two days ago. And what do I notice? It's still dirty...like it didn't get rinsed, didn't get a good soak, nothing. So I put a drop or two of soap on my scrubber and in the pot, put a little water in, and start scrubbing...and it hardly does anything. I mean, that creamy cashew sauce, well, it's really stuck on there. So I scrub a little harder. I'm barely making a dent. And now I notice I'm starting to get a little frustrated, and I'm thinking, "screw it, I'll leave this for Jordan to deal with. He made the dinner, and he couldn't even be bothered to soak the pot?" And then all those Metta's I've been practicing, and Jack and Oprah's words came back and offered me a loving tap on the shoulder.
Suddenly, just like that, I dumped out the water I'd been angrily swirling around, scrubbing violently at, and I poured some hot water in it, about halfway full, put a drop or two of soap on my scrubber, and I began making soft, gentle circles. As my water became milky, I noticed less resistance in my gentle circles. And suddenly this pot became a metaphor for life: if I approached with violence and anger, I was going to be met with the same. But, if I approached with loving awareness, with the intention of doing my best, and acceptance either way - because one way or another, I can get this dish clean, perhaps with a Brillo pad, but nonetheless, I have the tools for the job - if I approached with that perspective, and gave the food time to loosen its hold on the pot when it was ready...well, things changed. And as I noticed those stuck on bits of sauce were coming off or loosening, I had to hold in the urge to cry. Because I had been so ready to unload on my husband about how negligent he'd been in not doing the dishes...when I could have just as easily done the dishes myself over the last two days...and perhaps had more of an "obligation" to since he was the one that had made dinner (we like to be fair about whoever makes the dinner doesn't have to do the dishes). Suddenly doing the dishes was cathartic. It was a practice in loving awareness. It was a practice in presence. It was a practice of gratitude. And as I heard Ajeet Kaur singing her beautiful songs, I thought "I want to do the dishes more often. This is such a beautiful moment." And really, when are those words ever said aloud? I'm going to go with very rarely. I won't say never, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's certainly in the 1% club.
So, all of this to say, I just had a beautiful moment of clarity, peace, freedom, loving awareness, and other things that I don't quite know how to put into words. And I know it's mostly my headspace had to be just right in order for this small epiphany to happen, and it's not one that's going to be easily recreated, but maybe it can be. If I can maintain that sense of loving awareness, gratitude, peace, etc, maybe that's what the "practice" of spirituality is all about. Just like yoga is a practice, because it's constantly changing and evolving, and you're encouraged to show up as you are, and do your best, knowing that your best will change on a daily basis. Maybe that's what this is all about. Maybe it's about showing up. Maybe it's about practicing Metta when you're feeling the least like giving it, because it's when your emotions are the most volatile. Maybe it's about showing up on my yoga mat each day and making space for myself, respecting myself and the time I've set aside to show up in that regard. Maybe it's about inviting the wisdom of teachers in on occasion, to help buffer the world's breakneck pace of more, more, more! And once you've done all of that, you gain that one moment, that one glimpse of peace, gently washing a pot free of the same dirt and gunk that the world has been piling up on you, and you get it.
And maybe that's why we need to practice Metta, yoga, self care, spirituality. So that those practices can help to wipe the gunk off of our souls. So that we can see a glimpse of ourselves in that dirty pot. So that we can see that there are other people in the world out there scrubbing pots. So that we can feel a sense of communion at our oneness. So that we can put the world in true perspective. And maybe it all sounds crazy, to have this much of an epiphany over a dirty pot, but maybe that's all it takes...the right events, the right people, the right circumstances, to give that one shocking glimpse at who you really are...who we as people really are.
But, I'm headed back to the rest of my dirty dishes, none as much of a chore as that one pot was, but nonetheless. Perhaps that was a bit too far down the rabbit hole for you today. Perhaps it sets you on your own path of self discovery, or at the very least, introspection. Wherever it may lead you today, may you be happy. May you be free. May you be safe. May you be loved.
Love and light,
Kona
I know this page has become a haven for my poetry, but I needed to write this before I lost the feeling...the same impulse I have when writing poetry!
To start with, I listened to Oprah's SuperSoul Conversation's podcast today, specifically the episode with Jack Kornfield, an American Buddhist teacher. Now, I'm not entirely sure of where my spiritual leanings are truly "leaning" these days. Some days I feel as though I'm just spiritual, with no specific view or guiding principles; others I'm more Taoist, Buddhist, Pagan, or even Sikh. Lately, I've been trying to practice Metta, which is a Buddhist prayer of loving awareness. The typical prayer is something along the lines of: "May I be happy. May I be free. May I be safe. May I be loved." You can repeat this prayer for yourself or for others...and if I'm honest, I tend to wish this on those that cut me off on the freeway...maybe not necessarily how it was intended to be done, but it's what works for me. It pulls me out a place of anger, and reminds me to send them loving awareness, and that's more important, both for myself, and for them. But anywho, as I've been practicing this Metta, I decided to give this podcast of Oprah and Jack Kornfield's chat a try. They didn't disappoint.
I'm not going to go into detail about what was said in that podcast, but I would highly encourage you to give it a listen if you're curious about learning more about Buddhism and possibly finding a little more love, light, and grace within your life. That's certainly how I was feeling after listening to their inspirational words. So, here I am, fresh off of a walk with my pup, listening to Oprah's podcast, as I prepared to do the dishes. I put on Ajeet Kaur's album Indigo Sea and began filling up the sink with water and soap. Now, Ajeet Kaur is a Sikh artist, which if you know anything about Sikhism would have been evident by her name haha, but nonetheless! I already admitted to having wide reaching spiritual dabblings. This album in particular, the songs "The Waters" and "Indigo Sea" really in particular, feels freeing and safe to me. So, here I am, listening to this beautiful woman's voice, and I notice the pot my husband used to make a creamy pasta dish...two days ago. And what do I notice? It's still dirty...like it didn't get rinsed, didn't get a good soak, nothing. So I put a drop or two of soap on my scrubber and in the pot, put a little water in, and start scrubbing...and it hardly does anything. I mean, that creamy cashew sauce, well, it's really stuck on there. So I scrub a little harder. I'm barely making a dent. And now I notice I'm starting to get a little frustrated, and I'm thinking, "screw it, I'll leave this for Jordan to deal with. He made the dinner, and he couldn't even be bothered to soak the pot?" And then all those Metta's I've been practicing, and Jack and Oprah's words came back and offered me a loving tap on the shoulder.
Suddenly, just like that, I dumped out the water I'd been angrily swirling around, scrubbing violently at, and I poured some hot water in it, about halfway full, put a drop or two of soap on my scrubber, and I began making soft, gentle circles. As my water became milky, I noticed less resistance in my gentle circles. And suddenly this pot became a metaphor for life: if I approached with violence and anger, I was going to be met with the same. But, if I approached with loving awareness, with the intention of doing my best, and acceptance either way - because one way or another, I can get this dish clean, perhaps with a Brillo pad, but nonetheless, I have the tools for the job - if I approached with that perspective, and gave the food time to loosen its hold on the pot when it was ready...well, things changed. And as I noticed those stuck on bits of sauce were coming off or loosening, I had to hold in the urge to cry. Because I had been so ready to unload on my husband about how negligent he'd been in not doing the dishes...when I could have just as easily done the dishes myself over the last two days...and perhaps had more of an "obligation" to since he was the one that had made dinner (we like to be fair about whoever makes the dinner doesn't have to do the dishes). Suddenly doing the dishes was cathartic. It was a practice in loving awareness. It was a practice in presence. It was a practice of gratitude. And as I heard Ajeet Kaur singing her beautiful songs, I thought "I want to do the dishes more often. This is such a beautiful moment." And really, when are those words ever said aloud? I'm going to go with very rarely. I won't say never, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's certainly in the 1% club.
So, all of this to say, I just had a beautiful moment of clarity, peace, freedom, loving awareness, and other things that I don't quite know how to put into words. And I know it's mostly my headspace had to be just right in order for this small epiphany to happen, and it's not one that's going to be easily recreated, but maybe it can be. If I can maintain that sense of loving awareness, gratitude, peace, etc, maybe that's what the "practice" of spirituality is all about. Just like yoga is a practice, because it's constantly changing and evolving, and you're encouraged to show up as you are, and do your best, knowing that your best will change on a daily basis. Maybe that's what this is all about. Maybe it's about showing up. Maybe it's about practicing Metta when you're feeling the least like giving it, because it's when your emotions are the most volatile. Maybe it's about showing up on my yoga mat each day and making space for myself, respecting myself and the time I've set aside to show up in that regard. Maybe it's about inviting the wisdom of teachers in on occasion, to help buffer the world's breakneck pace of more, more, more! And once you've done all of that, you gain that one moment, that one glimpse of peace, gently washing a pot free of the same dirt and gunk that the world has been piling up on you, and you get it.
And maybe that's why we need to practice Metta, yoga, self care, spirituality. So that those practices can help to wipe the gunk off of our souls. So that we can see a glimpse of ourselves in that dirty pot. So that we can see that there are other people in the world out there scrubbing pots. So that we can feel a sense of communion at our oneness. So that we can put the world in true perspective. And maybe it all sounds crazy, to have this much of an epiphany over a dirty pot, but maybe that's all it takes...the right events, the right people, the right circumstances, to give that one shocking glimpse at who you really are...who we as people really are.
But, I'm headed back to the rest of my dirty dishes, none as much of a chore as that one pot was, but nonetheless. Perhaps that was a bit too far down the rabbit hole for you today. Perhaps it sets you on your own path of self discovery, or at the very least, introspection. Wherever it may lead you today, may you be happy. May you be free. May you be safe. May you be loved.
Love and light,
Kona
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